Reported by: Dr. Bird, Janitor

Jeff Fortenberry has formally announced that he finally understands the ‘gas’ joke made on his vandalized campaign sign in 2018.

Released in his final “Fort Report”, former congressman Fortenberry credits his bachelor’s degree in economics and “two master’s degrees” regarding his recent revelation in deciphering the vandalism that occurred to his campaign sign. 

“It’s really quite clever”, wrote the former US Representative, “I’m sure most Nebraskans still don’t get it, so let me explain it: it’s a play on words! My name is FORTenberry and if you change the ‘O’ to an ‘A’, it becomes FARTenberry! And that’s funny because of how expensive gasoline is right now! Because FART is another word for GAS!”

The former politician wrote that he was reminiscing about babysitting his grandson when he had the great epiphany: “Andy and I were going for a walk, when he asked me to pull his finger. Confused, I obliged, and he blew a raspberry! And it all clicked!”

The latest ‘Fort Report’ also stated that if he had known the vandalism was attacking future President Biden’s administrative failures, he would not have pressed charges against the UNL Professor responsible for the prank. Mr. Fortenberry still refuses to issue a formal apology. 

How the googly-eyes fit into the “gas joke” is still unknown to Mr. Fortenberry at this time.