Affirmative Action Ruling Gives 5.0 GPA High School Junior Chance To Be Accepted to Central Community College
Learn how the US Supreme Court’s decision to overturn Affirmative Action is already affecting lives.
PoliSci Major To Walk-On Husker Football Team To Help Future Gubernatorial Campaign
Robert Rodell Roggee, a Political Science Major from Worms, NE has launched a social media campaign to convince Coach Frost to allow him to walk-on to the “once great” Cornhusker Football Team, according to a press release from Mr. Roggee’s publicist on Thursday.
Mothers Against Phallic Buildings (MAPB) to Protest at State Capitol
Another protest is coming to Lincoln, and this time, the cause hits a little deeper. Mothers Against Phallic Buildings, more commonly known as “MAPB”, will be at the Nebraska State Capitol Building next Thursday to protest what they have dubbed: “The Penis of the Plains”.
Fortenberry Finally Understands Fart Joke
Jeff Fortenberry has formally announced that he finally understands the ‘gas’ joke made on his vandalized campaign sign in 2018.
Released in his final “Fort Report”, former congressman Fortenberry credits his bachelor’s degree in economics and “two master’s degrees” regarding his recent revelation in deciphering the vandalism that occurred to his campaign sign.
Scott Frost to Use TIF to Rebuild ‘Blighted’ Football Program
BREAKING: At a joint press conference held by Scott Frost and Mayor Gaylor-Baird, Coach Frost announced his plan to use Tax Increment Financing (TIF) to rebuild the “blighted” Husker football program.
Joe Exotic Convinced Carol Blood is just Carole Baskin in Disguise
Late last night the Nebraska Republican Party received an anonymous phone call from Federal Medical Center, Fort Worth informing them that the caller believes Gubernatorial Candidate Carol Blood to be an alias for Carole Baskin.
Fortenberry Welcomes Contributions to Legal Defense For Illegal Contributions
In the latest–and hopefully final–“Fort Report”, former congressman and “uncorrupted everyday Nebraskan” Jeff Fortenberry made it clear to his former constituents that, if they’re still gullible enough, he is accepting contributions to his legal defense to fight the charge for accepting illegal contributions.
Senator Groene Resigns After “Panty Raid” Debacle
Last week, Nebraska State Senator Mike Groene of North Platte resigned after allegations of sexual misconduct, including a “Panty Raid” on several female senatorial colleagues…