Lincoln Public Schools to Move to 100% Remote Learning to Prevent School Shootings
Local, Politics Dr. Bird Local, Politics Dr. Bird

Lincoln Public Schools to Move to 100% Remote Learning to Prevent School Shootings

In a unanimous vote by the LPS School Board, the school district will be transitioning to 100% remote learning this fall.

The proposal was contentious, drawing in several dozen parents who made public comments in opposition to the decision. However, after nearly two hours of public comment, the School Board voted unanimously in favor of the proposal.

“The decision was tough but nonetheless obvious to move to 100% remote learning…”

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Lincoln Mayor to Change “Problematic” Street Names
Local, Politics Dr. Bird Local, Politics Dr. Bird

Lincoln Mayor to Change “Problematic” Street Names

Changes are coming to a roadway near you; in today’s press announcement, Mayor Gaylor-Baird announced her selection for the newly created ‘Road Liaison Coordinator’ position. The Coordinator—a former employee of Cultiva—will be tasked with “keeping an ongoing dialogue with the streets of Lincoln”. The first task of the newly minted Road Liaison Coordinator will be to carry out the Mayor’s executive order to rename “problematic” roadways around Lincoln…

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Fortenberry Finally Understands Fart Joke
Statewide, Politics Dr. Bird Statewide, Politics Dr. Bird

Fortenberry Finally Understands Fart Joke

Jeff Fortenberry has formally announced that he finally understands the ‘gas’ joke made on his vandalized campaign sign in 2018.

Released in his final “Fort Report”, former congressman Fortenberry credits his bachelor’s degree in economics and “two master’s degrees” regarding his recent revelation in deciphering the vandalism that occurred to his campaign sign.

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Lincoln Street Closures Map Spells ‘BOOBS’, Transportation Director Resigns
Local, Politics Bradleigh Jaiymes Local, Politics Bradleigh Jaiymes

Lincoln Street Closures Map Spells ‘BOOBS’, Transportation Director Resigns

Controversy has struck Lincoln City Hall again, this time with a level of impropriety unseen since middle school.

Transportation & Utilities Director Greg Greeter succumbed to calls for his resignation after the Lincoln Street Closures Map spelled “BOOBS” using the maps street closures and maintenance live updating software…

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